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The Path © 1998 by: Cirse Windom
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Obtainment and Achievement ~ |
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some time had passed since seeker’s encounter with his companion, ’ia’, who seeker came to think of as ‘teacher’. and, much time had passed since seeker had experienced the kind of profound understanding which had come from teacher’s perceptions.
seeker was aware that he had much yet to learn of the path, but soon grew hungry for greater insight.
seeker observed closely, just as teacher had suggested, but felt there had to be a better way ~ a more efficient means of understanding.
‘i already possess insight.’ seeker frequently thought. ‘if i only had greater knowledge, then i would be even farther ahead on this journey, possess an even brighter light, be even more aware and powerful. just imagine all i could accomplish!’
seeker studied the pebble he carried in his palm since meeting with teacher. occasionally, seeker rolled the stone between his fingers and thumb, reminding his self of the lessons of the stone and the ring of pebbles. seeker carried the stone as a means of self discipline.... but, believing he had sufficiently honored the potential of the stone, seeker felt it had at last become a hindrance.
content in his perception, seeker tossed the stone over his shoulder.
believing that to be without obvious use,
although seeker had learned some of the lessons of strength ~ he had forsaken.... for all his desire to attain.... many lessons yet to be learned from his experiences with teacher, the dandelion, the stone and his self.
he began dwelling upon and seeking that elusive destination teacher had spoken of.
although seeker had gained some awareness
eventually, frustrated with his perceived slow progress and desiring the company of teacher ~ seeker decided to hurry.
this time, unafraid of his fear and ~ possessing light ~ unafraid of darkness.
seeker began at a rapid pace, then broke into a slow run.
elated with his perceived speed and the thrill of perceived conquest, seeker erupted at a full sprint.
confidently, seeker charged around and leapt over obstacles, carelessly raced past individual travelers and plowed though crowds of followers.
a blur of burning light, he sailed along the path with ease, keeping a keen eye open along the way for teacher.
deftly brushing past a kneeling traveler, seeker caught his foot on a small rock and was sent crashing into a ravine.
seeker’s fall was broken by teacher, who had been sitting in observance of an ant ~ but who now lay, with a twisted foot, beneath seeker.
after a moment, seeker gathered his self and moved to sit among the nearby rocks.
finally, seeker spoke. “i’m so sorry to have hurt you. i was just hurrying ahead.... to find you.”
“and you have found me, seeker.” replied teacher, extending an arm toward seeker, who offered to help ia sit.
“and the ant. you’ve found the ant i was observing.”
“is it dead?” asked seeker. teacher looked up. “i mean, transformed. changed? is it all right?”
“it has given up this life form.” replied teacher, leaning an elbow on ia’s knee and contemplating the situation while rubbing the soreness out of ia’s foot.
seeker, feeling defeated, stared at the pile of rocks where he sat. glancing at the ant, smashed in the sand, he then looked to teacher.
“can you forgive me for hurting you? you must have much pain.”
“pain can offer great lessons, and, should i choose, i can will it into submission by dwelling on some other interest. but, as for forgiveness.... i’ve not judged you.... so how can i forgive you?”
seeker sighed. “it’s good to be in your company again.”
“and it’s good to be in yours, seeker ~ for, you teach me many things.”
seeker was shocked. “what can i teach you? i know so very little. I’ve come to be with you, so you can continue teaching me great insights.”
“a teacher will readily recognize the same qualities in another teacher ~
which renders them both students.... them both seekers.” “each of us offers a unique perspective, seeker. each of us is a teacher, and i am better able to understand my self and others by recognizing and examining those unique perspectives ~ those i may not have had cause to see or consider before. this ant.... had a unique perspective.”
“and i’ve taken it’s life.... without compassion, without need, without awareness! and i’ve harmed you! what will i do?! i cannot reciprocate this.... what will happen to me?” seeker bowed his head and rocked from anguish.
“do you believe you acted out of malice, or out of ignorance?” teacher calmly inquired.
“i had no intent to inflict suffering upon any one. i was unaware ~ numbly, stupidly, selfishly unaware.” seeker feared the judgment he felt sure to receive, stopped rocking and stared at the ground.
“i cannot judge you for the fate of this ant, seeker. you shall perpetrate your own consequences.”
“i can only ~ have only ~ encouraged your awareness. outside of social prescripts, you’ve only your integrity and honor to answer to.”
“what of honor and integrity?” seeker scoffed. “how can i dignify such concepts when i am so lacking in awareness?”
“if you receive your self with honesty, compassion and reverence.... and reflect that perception in your outward actions by receiving others in the same manner, then you are dignifying honor and integrity.”
“often, it is first through self deception that we further deceive others.”
seeker thought a moment. “what of consequence? how shall there, once again, come to be balance?”
“consequences of action and inaction are not wholly products of blame.”
began teacher. “i believe, seeker, when one acts or neglects to act in perceived error out of ignorance.... then that individual affects other beings, other forms of energy which will manifest circumstances, whether recognized as such or not, designed to bring about greater awareness and understanding. as much as that individual continues to err in perceived ignorance, choosing to disregard the many lessons presented to facilitate understanding, so shall these circumstances continue to manifest.... culminating.... often affecting others closest to them, their loved ones, their associates ~ culminating until a great and undeniable consequence befalls that individual.”
“sometimes, sadly, by first befalling those the individual cares most about.”
“ignorance, seeker, is curable.”
“through blatant disregard, i believe we perpetuate much of our own suffering.”
“and, because we often elect to remain near the source of our destruction, the disregard perpetuated by that source can perpetuate much of our suffering as well.... in that way also, we our selves disregard.”
“what if some one acts with intent to cause suffering?” inquired seeker. “are the natures of those consequences the same?”
“seeker, i believe that to knowingly and without defensive cause inflict suffrage upon any being is to invite enormous and seemingly unpleasant circumstances upon the perpetrating individual. Circumstances which are designed to equalize not only the unnecessarily harmful effects that person has chosen to perpetrate, but further equalize the energy employed to cause that effect.... an organized and intentful energy, reflective of purpose. there must be greater consequence to meet the force of intent.”
“but, who is to judge? there is no real blame.” countered seeker.
“there is blame, seeker. blame among peers ~ blame among others able and willing to cast it. but, that is only one means of manifesting circumstances.”
“i
believe we are charged as our
own
greatest judge and blame maker.” “only when we choose to face our selves honestly will true equalization come into effect. for, only then can we truly empathetically comprehend our consequences and accept them as our own.... only then facilitating our spiritual growth and wisdom.”
“seeker, you chose to run and eventually crashed on top of me. had i not chosen to share my perceptions with you in the beginning, then you perhaps would not have fallen on me.”
“from your actions i am able, as are you, to receive and assess the consequences of my actions. equally, from my actions, you are able to receive and assess the consequences of your actions as well.”
“i cannot accept responsibility for your choice to run; for, i shared my perceptions without knowing of such intent.”
“but, both actions are related, and we would be foolish not to seize the opportunity they provide for insight into our selves and others.”
“do you think we can choose to remain ignorant? in effect, elect to disregard?” asked seeker.
“only so long as one can endure the consequences. and, only until the conscious mind relinquishes our many devices of distraction, exception and justification.”
“sometimes, that may not be until our spirits are released from our physical selves though.... right?” asked seeker.
“yes.... that is sometimes a great consequence. then we are tasked with assessing our perceptions, our truths, our convictions, our deeds ~ facing our selves then, if we’ve not done so before.”
“no wonder so many are afraid and feel vulnerable.” offered seeker.
“yes,” said teacher. “not only of this existence, but of our transition into the next.”
“only
in
facing
and consequently
knowing
“it is often easy to influence others ~ anticipating, as we often can, their potential reaction.”
“the challenge has always been, will always be.... managing and guiding our selves.”
“how shall i blame my self,” asked seeker, “when i meant no harm?”
“blame, as an invention of fear,” teacher replied, “can teach us of our desire.”
“but, we must be willing to recognize our need, its source, and be unafraid to acknowledge it. only then preparing our selves to facilitate personal growth and change.”
“i simply want to gain as much insight as i can before i leave this particular existence. i am a vessel for great insight. i have the capacity and desire to fill my self with understanding, and i want to obtain this as quickly as possible.” said seeker.
“is that in error? should i not desire this?” seeker continued.
“it is good to desire this seeker, but not so greatly that you forget how to achieve it.”
“we
may obtain without having earned....
“you must learn to revere the wealth of each moment. the miracle of being granted to all entities. to ignore that.... to resent that.... to take that for granted is to forsake true achievement and thus ~ fulfillment.”
“pressure, as a sense of urgency, is a natural result of our instinct of insecurity. because pressure can be regulated, it is an effective catalyst for accomplishment. pressure facilitates speed in simultaneous loss and gain. we must recognize however, exactly what and how much is lost, exactly what and how much is gained ~ and which and how much we are willing to exchange.”
“when we hurry, we forsake tremendous opportunities to learn.”
“when we attempt to generate what we believe to be efficiency ~ when we seek the quickest and easiest means ~ it is often at the expense of knowing our selves, others, and the relationships generated by our associations to not only human beings but all beings.”
“we most ‘efficiently’ lose our sense of self and our place within the circle.”
“there is much to be gained from seemingly small observations, seen only.... when walking slowly.”
“seen only.... when still enough to see.”
“perseverance and patience
“one
can perceiver toward patience....
“but, you have traveled farther than I,” insisted seeker. “in order to catch up, i needed to hurry.”
“seeker, comparison and competition are useful devices of awareness and motivation, but remember that we, our selves, are our greatest competitor, comprising our greatest strengths and weaknesses.”
“we must be careful not to allow our achievements to be defined ~ indeed confined by the extent of another. for, we may be capable of so much more.”
“when we measure one against another we are often unable to recognize the many seen and unseen factors that comprise the subjective nature of ‘value’.”
“further, as competitors, we are not exclusive in and of our selves.”
“if we become dependent upon systems or devices of measurement or evaluation, we become dependent upon the fallibility of those systems, which may erroneously reward or punish us regardless of inherent achievement.”
“it is unwise, then, to compare ~ when doing so could cast a false sense of inferiority upon what might actually, in a different sense, be quite valuable.”
“this leads to judgment ~ and who, seeker, are we better able to truthfully judge than our selves?”
“our
truth,
“it
is defined, rather,
“this path of enlightenment is not measured by who seems farthest ahead or who seems farthest behind. it is not a question of who seems young or who seems old ~ indeed the children are our true elders. for, in children we see purest faith, which is our source of ancient wisdom.”
“throughout our travels and inevitable encounters with self doubt along this path ~ it is a task of purest faith to maintain the innocence and insight we possessed at our conception.”
“ironically, the bulk of our journey is spent re-learning, re-believing in that wisdom we were once briefly and completely aware of, but grew too unsure of our selves and others to nurture, preserve and express.”
“so occupied, we become ~ once provided the physical means of manifesting circumstances relative to our physical selves ~ with struggling to know and protect our selves.... so compelled are we to imitate others, that we often lose sight of our true sense of self.... and thus true relationship to others.”
“.... not simply our children not simply human children ~ but all children.... and all others who cherish and nurture them.”
“to do that effectively, we must protect and nurture the faith and innocence of the child within each of us whether we’re new or a bit worn.”
“we must discover and embrace our child within ~ assure that child and all children of their unique being, place and purpose now and forever.”
“these are lessons many of us have sadly forgotten or are still very slowly learning.”
“to forsake our children, our lessons to some unknowable destination ~ to forsake them at all ~ is to forsake the value and merit of the journey it’s self.”
“to honor the path and its lessons is to honor the potential of one’s self and others.”
“a
destination marks a simultaneous
“i suggested once,” seeker began, “and you agreed with the possibility that all energies are equal.... equal and necessary to facilitate the transfer of energies.”
“if this is so, why should one aspire to peace? why should one aspire at all? what is the point of attempting to gain insight when it may be of no greater value than a lack of insight?”
“would that not justify bitterness, fear and hatred as much as it justifies happiness, reverence and joy ~ and every other emotion which is manifest by and manifests more of those emotions?”
“and, why bother to slow down, to be still in order to observe? yes, it appears that much insight can be lost in not doing so ~ but so what? what is the point? what is the purpose of enlightenment anyway? why this need to understand our place in relation to all else, when maybe nothing really matters? when all could be equal and equally necessary, anyway ~ regardless of its pace toward or conscious level of enlightenment! when the whole thing, either way, results in perpetuation!”
“i strive toward enlightenment, but am frustrated that i cannot know why. so often, i seem to be outside of the place where others dwell. so often, i feel so far from common aspirations, from common perception. so far apart.”
“why do you bother?”
“seeker, although i believe you sense the magnitude of your question, you must learn more of ‘value’ before you can comprehend the magnitude of your answer.”
“i, as all others, am a vessel ~ am a gatherer. a gatherer of experiences which will heighten my intuition and strengthen my faith in perception. for this, i will be strengthened.... and will strengthen others.... forever.”
“i am content in that purpose, seeker. this is why i bother.”
“sometimes, there seems to be a heavy toll thrust upon the will of one who elects to strive toward enlightenment. one who strives to question. one who often seems to travel in opposition to the masses. there is strength to be found, seeker, in your will. allow your will to indicate your purpose.”
“trust that you can be your own society, seeker.... your own affirmation ~ your own truth.”
teacher paused reflectively.
“you have asked an honest question. and you will find your answer.”
“recall, seeker, that many answers are revealed to us not as a whole, but as components of a whole. you must have broad vision and be willing to examine closely in order to seek and discover your truth.”
seeker scratched a handful of gravels from where he sat and allowed them to fall through his hand.
seeker began, “i held a stone in my palm once. i carried it faithfully to remind my self of its virtue. when i thought i had learned all there was to learn from it, i threw it away. i thought that i had been honoring the stone. but i had only been using the stone.”
“ironically.... a rock as well as my own disregard brought me to fall upon you in this ravine.”
seeker turned to regard teacher. “i really thought i knew....”
“we often delude our selves that we know.” teacher began. “that we know all. that we know enough. but regardless how far we’ve traveled, regardless how closely we examine.... there will always be mysteries to elude us, miracles to astound us. wisdom is knowing this.”
“wisdom is recognizing that answers are tentative ~ relative to how much and in what way we are able and willing to receive and perceive.”
“but questions, although sometimes elusive.... are enduring.”
“wisdom is knowing that for every ‘answer’ await innumerable ‘questions’....”
“and being able to discern when one.... is actually the other.”
seeker paused thoughtfully, considering the weight of his words.
“and, i shall try to honor my self and honor these lessons.”
seeker turned to regard his companion.
“because of my great need and desire, i see i must walk the path without your companionship.... honing my patience, my perceptions, my appreciation ~ discovering my own truths ~ earning my enlightenment.”
“i thank you once again for your wisdom.”
“surely.... i am greatly in your debt. what can i give for your generosity?” asked seeker.
teacher turned to seeker and slowly gathered seeker’s hand between both of ia’s ~ as over teacher’s heart, ia placed seeker’s palm.
“if in honesty, wisdom is received....” teacher turned seeker’s palm and pressed it against seeker’s own heart. “then from honesty, wisdom shall again be shared.”
“i can.... i will.... ask nothing more.”
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Writing - Home The
Gift of Everlasting Cheer | Tide Pool
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Can You See What I See |
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