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The Path © 1998 by: Cirse Windom
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The Perpetual Cycle ~ interrelatedness purpose balance |
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throughout his journey, seeker frequently took the light and physical being of others as sustenance into his self.
sincerely grateful in each endeavor, he partook of all that walked, crawled, flew or swam ~ harvesting from waters, forests, burrows, trees, bushes, sky and patches of vegetation.
yet.... seeker began to question imposing his need to survive ~ his voluntary will to exist ~ upon other life forms.
for a while, he abstained from nourishment ~ choosing rather, to observe others in their endeavor to nourish them selves.
seeker carefully considered others’ relationships with the living beings they sought to subdue and destroy ~ in order to fill a void within.
and he wondered of the spiritual nature in such an act.... for, he had seen individuals take from others emotionally in order that they may fill a spiritual void as well.
seeker found that many wanderers, particularly those traveling in bands, often bickered over both the quantity and quality of their nutriment ~ believing other travelers to have access to more and better food sources than them selves. visited by greed, they frequently, ferociously fought and stole from one another.... decimating vegetation and other prey.... consuming, hoarding, even allowing to rot, greater quantities than necessary to their survival.
these many wanderers consistently raided whole groves, patches, colonies, schools and herds ~ often destroying the very source of their sustenance.... as well as the sources of their sustenances’ sustenance.
seeker was alarmed to discover so many seemed to lack an awareness of the nature of life ~ and felt oddly disassociated as he sought to discover that meaning for his self.
eventually.... seeker became weak and extremely hungry. though he refused to succumb to his hunger, seeker hoped, staggering and willing the pain in his stomach out of his mind, that he could come to a conclusion quickly.
presently, while walking along the path, seeker noticed an individual crouched nearby.
the person appeared to be arranging pebbles in a circle.
seeker approached and asked to join in contemplation. “i am seeker.” seeker began.
“i am ia.” the wanderer replied.
“what is ‘ia’?” seeker asked having never heard the unusual name.
“‘ia’ is how i presently consider myself. ia is to be…. neutral of any particular masculine or feminine persuasion. a bit of both, perhaps, or neither. as you or i wish, perhaps.”
curious to see a wanderer arranging pebbles, and act which seemed to produce no immediate reward, seeker accepted the wanderer as ‘ia’ and asked, “what’s that you’re doing?”
“i’m contemplating the nature of existence.” replied the wanderer.
seeker reeled dizzily ~ but not entirely from malnutrition. “i have been pondering the nature of existence, also, and have gone a long while without food ~ because, i cannot consume another being until i understand my need to do so.” seeker crouched and fell over in the dirt.... this time, from malnutrition.
“will you share with me what you’ve learned?”
the traveler sat and pondered the pebbles without turning to look at seeker. “i, too, am a seeker.” ia said. “and, i appreciate and respect your desire to learn. but, let me ask you.... have you also abstained from drinking water?”
“no,” replied seeker, “i’ve drank water.”
“why?” asked his companion.
“because i felt thirst, and so quenched it. water is only water. it’s not a living thing, really.”
“by what standard do you measure living?”
“i suppose.... those things which seem to experience birth, growth and degeneration.” replied seeker.
“seeker, we must be able to recognize the existence of other beings, other entities which ~ although they may possess differing systems of existence, propagation and transformation than ours.... and so seem alien ~ are no less living.”
“life.... existence.... is energy ~ and we mustn’t limit our perceptions of living to only those entities which seem similar to our selves. as such, seeker, do you not see that water cycles as readily as any other entity?”
“not really.... i mean, yes.... it flows then rises then falls to flow again. but, water doesn’t have a mind or body. it doesn’t purposefully will it’s self to live.”
“it doesn’t....” seeker’s companion pondered ia’s own words, then suddenly lunged toward seeker. startled, seeker jerked away and fell over once again. his companion resumed ia’s crouched position and seemingly.... without regard, continued examining the stones.
“will is inherent ~ but, not beyond influence. do you not see that your reaction was dependent upon my action? my action dependent upon your reaction, before that? could not the behavior of water and other entities be influenced to react? could not will.... be of reaction?”
“certainly, throughout it’s cycle, water is water, collected in pools perhaps.... for a time ~ but not always ~ for, sometimes it is a part of or completely some other. and during part of that time, water is within us. we, seeker, are mostly water. do you perceive your self as mostly non-living?”
“well, no....”
“then, if you are completely living, are not the components which comprise you.... living also?”
“yes, i guess so. but still, water cannot die and i can.”
“can you? birth and death are relative to perspective, seeker, and are more a matter of transformation than beginning and end.”
seeker appeared puzzled and strove to understand the words of his companion.
“energy transforms and regenerates, seeker. we simply choose to recognize and herald selected phases of the cycle of transformation. some cycles we witness during our own immediate cycle of transformation ~ others take much longer and so seem separate to us.... of a different nature.”
“existence, seeker, is magnetic in nature ~ dualistic. seemingly opposing but utterly interdependent. a precarious upheaval of magnetic forces in perpetually shifting balance.”
“when attraction occurs, it is only because one of two interdependent forces has been torn from a weaker force or repelled from some other force and is seeking attraction. any new union is subject to these same actions ~ and, a greater strength always threatens to pull apart any existing union.”
“is not the water you drink magnetic? is it not subject to natural order? is ‘it’ not, like you and i.... alive also?”
“are we not magnetic? subject?”
“it is this very chaos ~ the taking and giving for and of one’s self which perpetuates the delicate ‘balance’ of life.”
seeker’s companion lifted a pebble from the circle, held it in ia’s hand, then asked of seeker: “how can we hope.... why would we want to separate our selves from the very same simple,integral and efficient system which brought us into being? where do we begin to draw such distinctions. even in our conversations, how do we decide which is it and which is he, she, ia? all of us are alive, seeker.... in the many and most important ways, all of us are the same.”
seeker studied the pebble in his companion’s hand.... and the ring of pebbles in the dirt, concurring: “yes, and as such, i cannot consume without guilt. i cannot continue to take and to take ~ to destroy for my own benefit ~ unable to reciprocate or lend some balance to the equation.... the concept of equality.”
seeker’s companion turned to regard him. “do you subscribe to the notion of a limited continuum? can a continuum be limited? do you find those limits within the parameters of your own existence? do you believe, seeker, that forever ends when you do?”
“well.... maybe. i don’t know.” replied seeker.
“a continuum,” began seeker’s companion, “is without limit and exists as much within you as it does around you.”
“we are significant in our being of course, but we, as all life, serve as recurring components, constituting a much greater realm that ~ because of our egocentric perceptions ~ we can barely conceive of. you worry of taking what you cannot replace; but, through a sacred union with another being, we donate the stuff of our bodies to produce another being in a revered miracle of birth. is that not returning the gift of life?”
“yes.” replied seeker. “it is returning the gift, or receiving the gift ~ however you choose to observe it. but, the new being will then go on consuming and taking.”
“i cannot consume, i cannot ~ regardless of reason ~ take the light and life form of another or contribute to indirect demise though facilitating the creation of another human being.... without some degree of guilt.”
seeker’s companion returned ia’s gaze to the pebbles on the ground. “but it is only with awareness, with compassion, with need, that you choose to live, seeker.”
“for ~ we are all a part of the circle.... the continuum.... that balance.”
“perhaps your guilt,” said seeker’s companion, “is suggesting you re-examine your need ~ or perhaps it is suggesting you re-examine your compassion ~ or perhaps it is suggesting you re-examine your awareness.”
ia continued to hold the pebble in ia’s hand, and speak to seeker.
“upon our demise, we donate the stuff of our bodies ~ we decompose for the benefit, the nourishment of another.... a grass, a tree, a fruit....”
“which our own children will come to one day consume.”
“this is the natural way of the circle ~ of the circle never ending.”
“it is the path, seeker ~ our journey....”
seeker continued to kneel and observe the ring of pebbles on the ground.
“but what of our spirit then? what is the nature of our spirit?” seeker inquired. “do we cease?”
seeker’s companion gently rubbed the pebble between ia’s thumb and forefinger and thought a long while before replying.
“again seeker, energy cannot cease.... in any form. it simply transfers.”
“just as our physical properties are passed by procreation, just as our nutrients pass in decomposition ~ do you believe that once i pass this insight on to you, it shall cease there? or shall it manifest it’s self in either your actions or inactions.... in your thoughts and desire to pass it on to another. shall it then cease within them?”
“the nature of energy is dynamic, not finite.” ia continued.
“physical embodiments simply change in order to facilitate one another’s transfer of energy. just because the measurements of psychic, spiritual, and other forms of energy known and unknown seem elusive by conventional methods, and simply because such energies seem directly intangible does not mean they are nonexistent, non-alive or opposed to natural order.”
“energy is infinite ~ and we, as all of life ~ are simply forms of energy.”
“we then, are infinite also ~ in all our forms.”
“consider this seeker....” his companion continued. “survival of species is won by intelligence and strength, resulting in adaptability. it is also won by one’s dependence upon others and others’ dependence upon one. could the same not be true for the energy which is our essence ~ our spiritual selves? could this not be won by enlightenment and need?”
“could that not, perhaps, be the purpose of existence ~ to culminate the lessons afforded us by our entombment of physical forces into an energy without walls? an energy no longer dependent upon or restricted by such containments?”
“dependent and restricted?” asked seeker.
“restricted, because as much as we might like to accomplish a particular objective.... our physical limitations, environmental limitations, and emotional limitations may initially act to stifle our ambition and attempts.”
“dependent, because we are then afforded an opportunity to examine our need to accept those limitations or transcend them and consider the consequences of doing such.”
“we are then afforded the opportunity to actually manifest and receive those same.... less.... or even greater consequences.”
“surely luck and fate influence survival and evolution as equally.” seeker suggested. “you can’t believe that we greatly influence our destinies.”
“yes.... i do.” replied seeker’s companion.
seeker looked perplexed. “how so?”
“i believe luck and fate to be two separate concepts.”
“i think of luck as a device employed in an effort to remove logic, one’s self, responsibility and perceived consequence from the equation of process.”
“when any event beyond our means of understanding occurs, it seems initially easier to attribute it to luck, perceptively ‘good’ or ‘bad’ than to maintain faith in our participation of that event.”
“we can employ a range of attributes designed to disassociate us from our circumstances. luck is only one of them.”
“fate however, is what i believe to be the presence of process, resulting from the interdependent nature of all existence.”
“one motive, one action, one consequence acting upon another sequentially ~ splitting and initiating more reactions, fusing and culminating in greater or lesser influences upon another.... continuing.... repeating the same or similar patterns. effecting related consequences. facilitating as much as perpetuating transfers of energies. a product of will, seeker.”
seeker tried in vain to visualize such a process.
“it is rather like wind blowing through a meadow of tall grass.” seeker’s companion began. “although the wind may act as one motion, it’s effect upon the meadow as a whole, and each grass therein, is like time it’s self.... multi-dimensional.... multi-directional.”
“you’ll notice that each grass, although individually affected by the breeze, is equally able to act upon the nearest object, often another grass, causing the meadow ~ as a whole ~ to appear to move in disjointed union.”
“consider too, if that breeze is not sufficient to break the stalk of the grass, then a portion ~ a sense ~ of that energy has been transferred, in the nature of strength and resistance, into that stalk ~ and, therefore within it’s seed.”
“in that way, that single breeze has blown from one generation into another.... and infinitely onward.”
“paradoxically, the same could also be said if the wind were sufficient to break the stalk. since that stalk will now have no seed, the wind has affected future generations in that way as well.”
“paradox, seeker, is a fascinating glimpse of the dualistic nature of existence. seemingly separate.... seemingly opposing factors central to existence continually evidence the interdependency of the parts which strengthen the whole.”
“however puzzling ~ paradox, like change, is one of our subtlest and most gracious constants.”
“because of our limited lifetime and egocentric perceptions, we conceptualize time as a linear process.... but, i believe it is actually a multi-dimensional, multi-directional process, perpetually circular in fashion, spiral like seeming, but ultimately spherical.”
“a whole unto it’s self.... but contingent in it’s being upon the beings of others.”
“occurring in differently paced and simultaneous forms. layers upon layers.... ribbons among ribbons of differing energies swirling, interacting, traveling at differing speeds.... relative only to one another. the seemingly smallest, seeming to travel at great speed.... the seemingly largest, seeming to travel at slow speed.”
“all energies on all dimensions eventually reconnecting, folding upon them selves and others, beginning again.... never ending. with measurement, yes, but elusive to our conception.”
“it is miraculous seeming. it is miraculous.... in fact.”
“i believe this to be the nature of fate. it is part of the process in the natural order of energies.”
“and, this is why i believe we play an active role in our destinies.”
“we must have faith in that miraculous process, whether we can comprehend it or not.”
“to attribute our fortunes to luck or some other device of disassociation without examining the source of our fate, is to absolve our selves of our responsibility to live purposefully, willfully relinquish our potential, and affect others with our non-awareness.”
“simply because the source of our fate may be generations removed.... may be beyond our recognition, doesn’t negate it’s existence and purpose in shaping our destinies ~ the whole of which may not necessarily manifest and transpire in the span of this lifetime.”
“seeker, i believe we are purest and of our greatest potential at conception. each life is brought forth complete.... with a specific purpose as well as with the ability to manifest that destiny and the consequences necessary to bring us toward a greater completion ~ initiating our finest beginning.”
“it is the place of the elder not to build or otherwise re-create a child into what the elder perceives as complete ~ but to preserve, to nurture, through compassionate and enlightened guidance, the innate innocence and purity, the foundations of evolving awareness and self-acceptance, faith and destiny which are wholly present within each child from their conception.”
“interactions with our environment, influences of culture and society can potentially greatly alter our perceptions.... continually nurturing as well as impeding our physical and emotional development, which will ultimately influence our spiritual development. those of greatest faith, however, can learn and grow to overcome the forces that act to stifle our self acceptance. perhaps during this lifetime we are tasked to attain only a part of our overall destiny. assigned the challenge of maintaining greatest faith in our selves.... which may actually be our specific purpose.”
“we can and should learn from all of life around and within us. we can either embrace or reject our perceptions of all we experience. constantly question all existence and our relationship to it. mete out inconsistencies. attempt to make sense of our selves and our reactions. build our selves into what we are.... by fulfilling or denying all that we can be. it is essential to leave our perceptions open to constant re-examination.... our selves to honest self scrutiny.”
“if
our perceptions.... if our selves....
“this process is made available by our being dependent as well as restricted by our physical embodiments. in this reactive way, we are able to gain the insight which acts to motivate us toward emotional and, thusly, spiritual ability.”
“it is crucial to recognize our physical, emotional and spiritual abilities as well as inabilities ~ for we then are better able to act, not simply react. to do so, we are facilitating our own current and future spiritual development.”
“each of us ~ every entity striving to release our selves of physical captivity in an effort to attain purest, ablest form ~ achieving highest peace.”
“again, seeker.... it is our path.... our journey.”
“for what purpose, then?” asked seeker.
his companion gazed at seeker, then into the surrounding darkness....
“would that not be enough?”
“then you don’t believe any part of our life is left to chance?” seeker asked.
“do you think it is possible, seeker, because of the nature of energies, we have already lived the lives we believe to be living at this moment.”
“do you think we may have been folded upon and brought forth from some other dimension in our limited concept of ‘time’, so we may attempt to redesign the result of a particular existence? i don’t know.... but i wonder of such things.”
“i seem to somehow know certain actions or reactions before they occur, as if i’ve lived them before, and, as such, i am able to adjust my action or reaction based upon that previous sense.”
“i genuinely believe to have a prior sense, and so, act based upon that notion.”
“i can think of no better explanation, than if i had actually experienced it before, at least in some sense. except perhaps.... rather than having experienced it beforehand, i am simply sensing future consequences to such a degree that it only appears as though i’ve lived that existence before.”
“because of the spherical nature of energies, it can be difficult to know which direction we are traveling toward and from.”
“although we tend to perceive chance as seemingly without influence ~ i believe chance to simply be the portions of our existence that we seem to be only unaware of ~ that portion of our existence that seems so far beyond our perception it seems unknown, and therefore beyond our influence.... until it comes much closer.”
“certainly, our existence is not exclusive of the influences of others’ existences. we are as equally subject to their choices as they are to ours.”
“in awaiting their influence upon us, we perceive an element of unknown, a sense of chance.”
“what of coincidence, then? how is it related to chance?” seeker asked.
“coincidence, like luck, can be employed as a device. but, like chance ~ in that it is actual in fact ~ coincidence is often regarded as a readily acceptable explanation of relationships we cannot perceive.”
“i find coincidence as evidence of various energies manifesting circumstances resulting in a similar occurrence ~ fulfilling a similar and simultaneous need.”
“if you believe, then,” seeker began, “that, as a whole, the outcome of our existence ~ on all dimensions as all energies ~ is ultimately decided.... then do you pray? and to what.... and for what?”
“i pray.... always, seeker....”
“i pray to the spherical nature of being ~ the sense that all entities are interdependent ~ and i pray that i am wise enough to acknowledge the purity and power of that sense. i pray for the hope that all pain shall transcend ~ and peace will eventually reign.”
“i pray to my self, as much as to you or any other. i pray to all.... as one.”
“i pray for greater faith and awareness, greater understanding and acceptance of my self and others.”
“i pray that pain and suffering, brought by others without faith and understanding of them selves and their relationship to all entities ~ the pain and suffering visited upon innocents.... be ended”
“i pray for the wisdom, the strength, the faith to nurture the faith, the strength, the wisdom of children.”
“i pray all strength within me be given to the whole, and an awareness of all beyond be brought within.... that all within me be given again.... and again.... never ending.”
“within every action and reaction.... always.... i pray for this and in this way.”
“perhaps, seeker,” his companion continued, “you have come to stand before me and this ring of pebbles so that we could discuss the nature of life.... so that you can tell and retell this story.... so that others will retell this story.... so that one day, when you are much younger than you are now, before you’ve come so far along the path ~ you will listen to this story and ponder the nature of life long before you think to ask such questions.”
“perhaps, at this moment, you are sowing the seeds to nurture your spirit as another, younger self.”
seeker was awed and speechless for a moment. unsure of what to say next. wondering if.... an older other self was guiding at this instant his very thoughts and recognizing his uncertainties.
“then.... that might mean i was led here by an older other self ~ and something i or they.... being i..... may have done.... or not done.” seeker pondered aloud, looking shocked and alarmed by the possibilities.
“perhaps.” replied his companion, absently examining the stone.
startled by his own assumptions, seeker concluded: “could a part of me be you? could a part of you.... be me?”
“i suppose so.... seeker. in fact, i think it is very likely.”
“why would that particular form of energy be immune to dissolution and reconstitution? would it not be as subject to disruption and distribution as any other?” asked seeker.
“consider this, seeker: when we know love and pass it on to another ~ imparting them with the faith and strength of self acceptance ~ then, are transformed into another physical self, as are our loved ones.... do you not think it is possible that we then double our spiritual strength, returning as an even stronger being, capable of even greater faith and, therefore, initial self acceptance.... better able to love and nurture love in another? what a marvelous mechanism, seeker, to aid us in seeing our selves ~ to aid us in loving and accepting our selves.”
seeker looked astonished. “are you suggesting that during transformation, i could influence my spiritual attainment. i could suspend my own transformation until i choose to impart into some other physical being.”
“i think we influence each stage of our process of transfer. from our initial cessation of body function, to the period of suspension, to the final stages of that specific transformation. the supreme honor of every elder is to nurture and protect our young ones. that honor does not cease with our transformation. i believe if we are prepared, meaning worthy, and so desire, we can in time be naturally invited and absorbed as a perpetual entity of that child’s existence. the same principal applies with all loved ones.... be they whom ever.”
“even in memory, love is our greatest power to transcend, seeker. as limitless as the continuum. it is the continuum.”
“you seem to suggest that our emotions and our spirituality are the same. do you believe that our mind and soul are one?”
“when we consider our selves, we must consider our spirit, mind and body as one.”
“realize, that maintaining a view of both the microcosm and the macrocosm simultaneously.... is fundamental to understanding such concepts.”
“our bodies or physical containments are capable of influencing our emotion ~ and equally, our bodies are subject to the direction of the mind. the mind instructs, guides and rationalizes our actions and motives, because of and through the employment of devices which serve to interpret sense and emotion. and i believe the resultant intuition directly affects our spiritual stability.... which will in turn again affect our actions.”
“the body is replete with systems which perpetuate our life as a particular organism; therefore, our mind is dependent upon those systems also. in that sense, there is a direct relationship between these interacting mechanisms of enrichment and destruction.”
“but.... what fires the mind? what wills the body to function?”
“this.... i believe to be our spirit.”
“a perpetual, all-encompassing, guiding influence within our physical force.... our will.”
“the mind functions as a conductor or conduit for such energy. a highly sensitive instrument for receiving and transmitting the various kinds of energies stimulated and sent by our spiritual selves, as well as our physical selves and other energies elusive to our common knowledge. a vehicle for the transportation of among other functions, reason, logic, emotion and memory.”
“certainly, our mind, body and spirit are a triangulation of factors ~ each interdependent upon the whole ~ each able to provide insights into our selves. we, as all entities, are seemingly miniature models of our universe. our universe ~ seemingly macro models of our selves, relative only to our particular perspectives.”
“but, what if there is no higher aspiration, then.” suggested seeker impatiently.
“what if the energy of the mind, the energy of the body, the energy of the spirit, and all the other energies are equal!”
“what if there is no highest peace!” demanded seeker.
“and that may be! that is a grand perception, seeker! what if they are....” ia pondered aloud.
“what if all energies were equal.... truly.... infinitely equal....” ia paused. “and, what if.... each were necessary to perpetuate the infinite transfer; for, there could be no cessation of energy....”
“and, that perpetual transfer were needed ~ all energies being equal ~ to prevent their culmination into a single unified energy.... which in a way they already are ~ in being equal and equally necessary. because, to culminate leaves no room for transfer.... and energy is dynamic and must transfer or....”
“....or.... what?”
“or build upon it’s self until implosion.... or explosion? or both?”
seeker intently studied his companion puzzling out the question with ia’s self.
“or.... what if.... there were a highest energy? a greatest force? one which.... all other energies aspired to. creating a oneness. creating a culmination which would result, again, in an implosion or explosion or both.”
ia looked at seeker. “i see that both theories are essentially the same. differing only slightly in method.... identical in result and purpose.”
“how do you see that?” asked seeker.
“either way, the end result ~ the purpose and function would be to constitute perpetuation. either way, the purpose and function is to provide an outlet for reaction. facilitate transfer of energy.”
“a vast culmination must sustain it’s self by dispersing it’s self in order that it may continue to thrive.”
“so.... the first theory suggests there are numerous equal energies working to receive, in different means, one another ~ avoiding an implosion and, or explosion of force ~ facilitating perpetuation.”
“the second theory, short of all energies being equal.... suggests because of one energy pulling the strength of others into it.... it shall implode, explode or both in order to facilitate perpetuation; for, without perpetuation ~ there would seem to be no release or transfer option, other than unto it's self. therein lies destruction and redistribution, or what we may sometimes perceive as birth and death.”
“either by avoiding or creating the means ~ which is implosion, explosion or both ~ the necessary result is.... perpetuation. it is again, a model of our selves.... interdependent! beautiful in it’s simplicity and inevitability.”
“considering, as you have, energies receiving one another ~ do you believe,” seeker inquired, “our spirits can divide?”
seeker continued: “when we transform, when our essence of spirit is transferred, does it stay in tact? or does it fragment? does some of it remain while other of it transforms?”
“of course i cannot say absolutely, seeker; for, i am a believer in possibilities. i can only speculate and listen, feel, what that answer is ~ the same as any one else.”
“i have seen evidence though.... as with the wind in the grass, that all beings are uniquely able to act upon and influence other energies.... therefore, being as equally subject to action and influence.”
“so, i believe whereas our souls may be able to transcend our physical selves during that particular transformation, and do so in multi-facetted ways and on multi-dimensional levels, i equally believe we transcend our physical selves before that transformation.... in effect, in reality ~ transforming our selves with every moment of our being, on every dimension.”
“just as with wind in the grass, i have seen evidence that we are able to confer ~ through the actions or inactions of our physical selves ~ a sense of our selves....”
“extending our selves beyond those very boundaries which, on the whole, eventually revisit us.”
“in that way, we direct a transfer of spiritual and psychic energies, often without conscious regard ~ transcending our physical constraints ~ spreading our selves.... integrating our selves through ‘time’.”
“it is like you suggested.... i ~ a part of you. you ~ a part of i. from some other time, some other dimension, some form of energy.... some other....”
seeker’s companion then turned to regard him. “do you think you recognize me?”
seeker quickly closed his eyes.... afraid to look. afraid he might see his self. slowly though, seeker opened his eyes and gazed into those of his companion.
his companion finally asked, “seeker.... do you see your self?”
a surge of recognition overtook seeker, not from the features or mannerisms or expressions of his companion ~ but, from the seeing of self.... the brief glimpse of sameness, of instinct, within all beings, and he shuddered, unsure of what to do with this knowledge.
his companion smiled and returned ia’s attentions to the stone in ia’s hand ~ turning it over and over.
for a while, seeker was content to consider the merit of such a revelation.... then he asked, “if our destiny is to achieve highest peace ~ then, why not just take our own life and surpass this physical entombment?”
“the choice to take or not to take one’s own life ~ any decision regarding one’s ability to influence the mental, spiritual and physical constitution of one’s self ~ must be a choice ultimately decided by that individual....”
“for, although others may share.... they alone must bear those consequences.”
“there are times when one may feel such great despair, such confusion, oppression, isolation and fear, that ending one’s current life form seems the only option.”
“we must remember, however, that emotions can offer us opportunities for insight into our selves and our relationships with others.”
“such emotions and opportunities challenge us to re-examine our faith and awareness.”
“we can be misunderstood, frustrated, impatient and even selfish in our perceived crisis....”
“but, we are never alone.”
“our actions and inactions ~ like the wind in the grass or the waves of the sea ~ affect others as much as they affect us.”
“to succumb to those emotions or circumstances which manifest them, is to rob our selves of the strength required to transcend them.... the strength required to achieve highest peace.... to know, appreciate and share peace once it is truly ours.”
“it is what we aspire to, but may live many lifetimes toward attaining. we must pursue love and faith, trust and hope. compassion, reverence and self acceptance. not exemption from our emotions. not acquittal from our humanness.”
“seeker, i have known wanderers upon this path who have surrendered their actions to repetition of familiarity.”
“surrendered their thoughts to available and conventionally accepted thinking.”
“surrendered them selves to fear.”
“they believe that they are alive. but, i see that they are contentedly void beings ~ without challenge or desire to transcend their willful captivity.”
“taking one’s life, whether physical, spiritual, or intellectual, is never the only option.” “it is simply a chosen option.”
compelled by this perspective, seeker inquired: “although you believe energy is indestructible, do you believe two forces of equal strength can neutralize one another?”
“could our spirits be confined to neutrality?”
“could that be.... eternity?”
seeker’s companion gazed at the pebble in ia’s hand.
“you have posed an intriguing question, seeker ~ one for which i have no definite ideas.”
ia tossed the stone into the air, startling seeker, then caught it in ia’s palm as it fell earthward.
“could there be true neutrality?”
“this stone.... have i neutralized it’s fall? has it neutralized my rise?”
“have we neutralized one another?”
“i would say you’ve neutralized one another.” replied seeker.
“it would seem so....” stated seeker’s companion.
“but, that does not make it so.”
“simply because we are unable to detect the disturbance in the air around us caused by the motion of both i and the stone, doesn’t mean that other entities were not affected by my motion, or that of the stone. further, i initiated the stone’s motion.... so wouldn’t that factor into an equation of reaching neutrality? and, what of the muscle tension within my body upon exerting a force to capture the stone? where did it go? it was not neutralized in the action.”
“the nature of true neutrality eludes me, seeker, but i am inclined to suspect that ~ excepting the possibilities of true neutrality ~ we, as all energies, are more likely to fall into a state of reserve. held there until other forces act to trigger our release.... providing an opportunity to react.”
“do you believe in death, then?”
“could that state of reserve be considered death?” seeker asked.
his companion began: “a state of reserve or suspension tends to suggest a self will.... some nature of which i believe all energies possess.... although perhaps different from ours.”
“i think that it is indeed possible, in certain circumstances, for certain forces to act concertedly upon others in order to reserve potential reaction.”
“but i would not call it death. i would call it transformation.”
“it is again, a part of the process of transfer and change.... the nature of magnetism.... the nature of energies.”
“rarely, i think, could true neutrality occur ~ if ever; for, there is always an outlet for reaction. it may simply be beyond our immediate perception. beyond our ability to await such reaction.”
“which is why we must act ~ why we must consider ~ with the greatest care, compassion and commitment.... with the greatest awareness.”
“are you suggesting,” asked seeker. “that humans are no different than that pebble in your hand? just rocks? like other forms of simple energy?”
“seeker, in order to receive and understand a broad view of existence, we must often look at the function of each part, each aspect of that existence. therein, we shall see our selves.”
“we are components in a seemingly larger realm, and we are made of components which are made of components. all energies are related. we react to our environment much like the stuff of our composition reacts to it’s environment ~ which in fact is an environment we all share. we are simply equipped with varying mechanisms of reaction, but certainly.... we are all similarly stimulated.”
“and certainly.... we react much the same.”
“we may like to believe we are somehow situated above all others. in this way, we feel absolved in our abuse of our environment and those within it, including others of our own species. yet, we cannot escape our instinctive natures, the composition of our beings both physically and spiritually, our interdependent relationship with all beings. the elements around us, seeker, are equally within us.”
“we are fire, water, air....” ia squeezed the pebble in ia’s fist and thrust it toward seeker. “earth.... and essence.”
ia replaced the pebble within the circle.
then, turning, ia filled ia’s gaze with a dandelion.
“all of life can teach us, seeker ~ teach us everything we need to know. we must only be willing to look for our lessons and listen to our guides ~ recognizing simultaneously our differences and our similarities. finding our selves within each other.... others within our selves.”
“we needn’t observe on a grand scale ~ to observe. the petal holds as much fascination as the flower, the array, the garden. one cannot be fully regarded without knowledge of the others.”
“it often seems initially easy to glorify or demonize some unknown ~ in an effort to insulate our selves from self discovery, and for a while, we may recognize no immediate or direct consequences of doing such. but, it is genuinely enriching to truthfully assess and receive all that is before us and within us ~ beholding our selves, others, our tasks and duties as bearers of insight.”
“so often we seek elusive destinations. they are unknown and seem exotic.... mysterious.... a bit frightening. intrigued by hope and wonder, we try to peer into the darkness, half unwilling to discover ~ blinded by a fear of truth and the comfort of familiar perceptions ~ even the comfort of deception.”
“but always.... our greatest darkness and light.... lie within.”
“we, seeker, are our greatest lessons.”
seeker’s companion crouched for a while, holding between ia’s fingers the dandelion ia had been observing. ia considered the lessons ia could learn, then thanking the dandelion profoundly and sorrowing for the pain.... internalizing the pain ia was about to inflict.... plucked two of it’s leaves, eating one. ia then passed the other leaf to seeker.
seeker studied the leaf in his hand and fought the urge to scavenge it entirely; for, seeker had grown extremely hungry ~ but, he had grown also as aware. seeker now began to see the virtue in the strength of resistance and recognize the subtle consequences of his actions.
seeker looked again to the circle of pebbles at his feet.
“it is so much easier.... just to believe in luck....” seeker glanced at his companion.
“or so it seems, seeker....”
“but, from a distance ~ as we view the whole of our existence ~ we realize a great loss in relinquishing those lessons afforded us. a loss of our potential. a loss of our selves.”
returning his gaze to the leaf.... seeker felt it’s spirit ~ it’s energy ~ it’s essence ~ accept it’s fate and take it’s changing place within the circle.
as seeker ate the leaf, chewing it slowly and deliberately ~ seeker felt his self take his changing place within the same circle.
as seeker chewed, he recalled the leaf’s fading light and considered which ~ if either of them ~ had been conquered; for, seeker had surrendered his self to the lessons of the flower by taking a leaf from it finally into his body.
‘perhaps,’ seeker thought, ‘perceivable strength is only as great as the awareness with which it is tempered.’
overwhelmed with a sense of a profound understanding, full of compassion and acceptance of both his and the dandelion’s fate ~ seeker wept.... silently, visibly and long.
seeker thought of his will to live, and that of the dandelion.
seeker prayed for the perpetual interdependence of existence. he prayed for the dandelion. he prayed for his self, and greater awareness. and seeker lent his strength.... his resistance.... to the lost leaves and the remaining flower ~ changed but ongoing.
seeker rose, departing from his companion ~ grateful for the insights ia had so freely shared ~ and walked away into the darkness with thoughts of the dandelion.
a part of the dandelion. the dandelion, a part of him.
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Obtainment and Achievement ~
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Writing - Home The
Gift of Everlasting Cheer | Tide Pool
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Can You See What I See |
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