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The Path © 1998 by: Cirse Windom
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Confrontation and Defense ~ |
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some time and distance later, seeker came upon yet another small, roving band of lightless wanderers.
recognizing the shape of a group in the distance, he elected to progress on course beyond their interference.
seeker had learned the dangers of lightless wanderers and would soon test his ability to control his fear and ego in light of imminent confrontation.
seeker could see the leader of the group was harmful.
seeker had not expected to meet some one such as harmful this far along the path and wondered by what means he was able to advance.
but seeker realized also that aggression was a formidable force ~ and, regardless of reason, pressed upon others, forcing an often undesirable, unavoidable engagement.
in order to resist the anticipated conflict, seeker knew that he would have to garner his greatest strength.
cautiously seeker approached, wary of a means of escape, wary of accessibility to a weapon, wary of his fear and steadfast in his faith.
resisting both his fear and desire to fight, seeker carefully made his way along the path. as he neared the group, seeker saw that harmful had managed to amass a small gathering of disillusioned and desperates as harmful as he. they traveled as a pack, collectively, actively seeking new sources of blame.
harmful rightly realized the strength and power of his lightless band, and believing he had discovered his destiny, proclaimed his self leader.... ruler.... dictator.
though appearing outwardly lightless, blind and raging blame seemed sufficient to propel these wanderers toward their end.
many members of harmful’s band steadily fell into holes and were left behind. all fought among them selves in attempts to gain hierarchy. a few even attempted to slay their leader, and were slain them selves.
unified in hatred, they blundered onward. unwary wanderers overtaken by the band were routinely brutalized, slain or recruited as a means of reinforcing the purpose and positions of the group and their leader.
particularly hated, were those wanderers possessing light.
attracted by the approaching glow of seeker’s light, a crowd of hostile faces turned and met seeker’s gaze as he selected his footsteps carefully along the path. “look what we have here....” said one of the group. “a regular walkin’ blaze.”
“hmmmm,” replied another. “what say let’s put it out.” ominous laughter arose and dissipated into the surrounding darkness.
seeker could see harmful’s mob occupied with him a high and narrow ledge. the crowd thinned, spreading across the ledge, blocking the route of seeker’s progress.
without undue struggle imposed upon seeker by the will of this group, he could not traverse upward nor downward nor around.
sighing heavily, seeker resolved to remain in control of his emotions. he felt tension run the length of his body, as his legs took on a great weight.
harmful shoved his way to the front of the pack.
“well, well.... i remember you. i remember you refused to help me out of a hole way back when. look who needs help now, ‘flash’. i think i’ll just let my mob here take care of you the way i should’ve taken care of you my self.”
another round of laughter with riotous accordance from the group.
seeker understood harmful’s rage ~ for, at one time seeker too had been prepared and willing to blame others for his situation, agitation and fear.
although this group seemed to be well on their way toward the destruction of others, seeker saw they were readily self destructive as well, possessing as they did, great fear. a deep, seething fear that was a universal and potentially self destructive thread among all beings.
and seeker knew it to be insecurity.
seeker realized that of this, harmful could not be aware.... for, to be truly aware by way of self acceptance, is to no longer allow insecurity and ego their control.
this would always be the advantage of the aware. this was the balance.... the strength of reserve, awarded to only the patient and the aware.
and this.... was a lesson which harmful had not yet learned.
seeker focused all his direction and passion upon the source of his potential destruction. harmful.
“i have not come to disrupt your group ~ not to threaten it in any way. it is your choice to perceive my presence in that way. i seek only to pass. i will request now that you step aside and share this path that belongs to us all.”
another round of raucous laughter.
seeker drew a heavy breath, his body burning from reserved adrenaline, as he mentally assessed the situation.
‘if i elect to pursue this course, there will be confrontation leaving no room for indecision. should i elect to defend my choice to pass, then i should be prepared to fight to my end.’
‘however.’
‘should i elect to remain where i stand, conceding to the offence, there will still be confrontation ~ and i should be prepared to concede this life without a fight.’
seeker knew the difference between strategy and surrender.
surrender was to give up. to quit. to submit. and seeker’s lesson of the ‘beast’ had taught him this was no longer within his nature.
seeker would never again yield to fear.... his or any other’s.
seeker realized the virtue, however, in reassessing a situation: relinquishing a perceived need with the introduction of greater enlightenment.
also perhaps retreating temporarily in order to formulate a new strategy.... even to the point of appearing to surrender ~ extending the battle until such time as oppressive factors could be neutralized or oppressed them selves.
seeker knew this was not an opportunity for either retreat or relinquishment.
for the purpose of mutual benefit ~ seeker knew and hailed the principals of compromise....
....but knew equally as well, the concepts of oppression and acceptance.
and seeker saw this situation for what it was.
though seeker was concerned for his safety, he knew well the difference between fear and cowardice.
and he knew fear could be controlled by love and faith.
he had been afraid before ~ was afraid now ~ but seeker had been before and would never be again, a coward.
seeker saw there was only one real question.
to
fight or not to fight ~
the group refused to move.
seeker advanced toward harmful.
as seeker neared, he felt harmful’s uncertainty which, as seeker expected, manifest its self in aggression.
harmful lunged for seeker.
seeker, without hesitation, remorse, regret or concern for his own being, instantly seized harmful by his throat.... threw harmful to the ground and kneeled, poised and prepared to if necessary end both their current lives.
with the undivided attention of the group too shocked to react, seeker spoke with absolute certainty:
“i don’t appreciate being drawn into violence.... but i understand this realm is one of balance ~ control or be controlled. i accept that completely, and thus, strive continually to maintain that same balance within my self.”
“realize, harmful.... that i haven’t killed you yet, because i have already defeated you. you in fact, have defeated your self.”
“i’ll not hesitate to kill you or any of your group who wish to engage me in a war. i’m resigned to giving my self over completely to the requirements of any lesson ~ and there is much here to be learned.”
“i hope you are receptive to my sincerity; because, i mean what I say.... with every sense of my being.”
“i suggest harmful, you decide exactly what is important to you and exactly what, for your choice, you are willing to exchange.”
seeker released harmful’s throat and projecting his intent upon each individual that stood to block his way, moved forward and without resistance, though the group.
before harmful could recover from his shock, he was being kicked and jibed by his followers. a fight ensued, and a new leader rose quickly to power.
seeker traveled without looking back; for, he knew that if harmful was emotionally strong enough to leave the perceived safety of his group, hhe would likely fall into a hole before reaching seeker.
and even if harmful, driven by humiliation, hatred and revenge, did pursue seeker and succeed in negotiating the many holes between them ~ seeker was prepared, as equally as before, to end either of their current lives if engaged.
ever wary of his potential, seeker recognized and appreciated the strength of acting decisively and without hesitation ~ as much as he recognized and appreciated the strength required to resist such a reaction.
although to the many who constituted harmful’s group, seeker may have appeared to hate harmful, seeker actually felt only the deepest love and desire to accept harmful. the deepest love for and desire to accept them all.
seeker realized however, until one loved one’s self one could not love another.
in fact, confusing love with possession ~ seeker realized one could live without understanding love at all.
although seeker sought to accept others as much as seeker sought to accept his self, he realized the need to preserve his sense of self and rejected the notion that he needed to give his light to another in order to prove his devotion.
seeker realized that if his love were truly returned, then he should never have to concede his own light at all.... nor, should he ever expect or demand the light of another as proof of their devotion to him.
seeker saw that one could desire an entity so greatly as to keep one from honestly receiving.
one could be so unwilling to perceive another truthfully, that their own receptions would be skewed.... perceiving another from behind the wall of fear ~ desiring them so greatly ~ believing to need them so completely.... as to cause them harm.
seeker had come to believe that, to truly love another, one must acknowledge and attempt to gradually release their need for that being. otherwise, seeker perceived one could become preoccupied with creating a relationship of control which is of fear not love. could create a relationship of resentment, suspicion and even hatred, rather than trust and respect.
and though seeker realized that one could love so greatly ~ could without thought of one’s self ~ give one’s love, one’s self, one’s life completely and forever to another.... seeker had learned also to distinguish between the sometimes subtle differences of love and need.
love.... not measuring the subjectively perceived and immediate values of giving and taking.
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Surprise |
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